I think my vagina is haunted
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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