Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize