I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
