Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
