I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
