I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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