It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
