I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
