This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you win again, gameday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
