i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize