Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
