you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
