He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
