I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
