This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
