No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you remember whose house we're in?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
