she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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