I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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