just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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