We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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