I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
