things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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