i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Boobs speak an international language.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize