Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
