I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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