Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
