i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
40s are totally the cure
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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