4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize