Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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