I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love having hate sex.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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