you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize