At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
