I'm going to jail i love you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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