I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
