I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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