I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
