you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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