i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
