They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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