Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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