What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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