he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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