wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
