what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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