Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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