Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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