party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
