So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize