the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
