not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
