Im at strip club and am horny
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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