Whod you bang
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
