I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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