i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
