were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
