I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize