so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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