Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
